We are living very convulsive and, impulsive moments, with anxiety, uncertainty and problems that affect us on a daily basis. To be able to work or not, to be totally overwhelmed, to feel isolated, with fear or lack of freedom, to feel infantilized, disoriented. More fear and more uncertainty. Sometimes we get paralyzed avoiding the problem itself. Sometimes we jump into the problem to solve it right away! and “catch the bull by the horns”, as we have been taught.
However in between there is also a space for reflection and consciousness, from the point of view of mindfulness and full awareness.
How to go from “solving the problem directly” to “feel and experience the problem and investigate its causes to respond consciously”?
We have to realize that the first thing, “solve the problem directly” involves often rejection or/and avoidance strategies, which will not help us. The problem will remain there, maybe subtly knocking in our door with knuckles or perhaps not so subtly but punching to our door.
“Feeling and living the experience of the problem” is really “going towards”, approaching the question, that struggle in an intimate, attentive, curious and conscious way, from an attitude of openness and acceptance of the problem itself, simply because it “is there” now. It could seem to be a hard work, maybe it is, against our intuition, but there is no need to set a final goal or neither accept anything. I believe that is not it either. It is more of a path, a way of looking at things. I way to be with our own vulnerability.
To take this turn to “go towards the problem” and help us returning to balance, I have been researching and practicing for the last month three steps that we can perform.
The first step is to pay attention and sustain yourself with the problem, find what balances and calms you – Anchoring
The second step is to open yourself with trust to that struggle and see what changes appear – Opening
The third step is to give and receive towards yourself and others, in a positive way throughout the process – Give & Receive
Anchoring
” Pay attention and sustain yourself with the problem, find what balances and calms you ”
Our mind is constantly ruminating, thinking or worrying, seeking our own comfort and safety. When the mind perceives a threat situation, it begins to find ways to help us get back to our security zone. When people feel anxiety, their mind, as if it were a computer program, will find ways to help eliminate unpleasant moments. Normally we listen and follow the direction our minds lead us, and we can easily identify, merge, and tangle in our thoughts and emotions. Even in that desire to avoid them, we reinforce them and enter a vicious circle.
By practicing mindfulness, we can learn to realize these mental phenomena without trying to change anything. You can take your attention with intention to the present moment, to any of these phenomena that occur at any instant and accept them, without judgment, simply because they are already here, now. This is quite counterintuitive, and it is not easy to do, since what we really want is to eliminate them.
The first step, to learn to focus on the process and not the outcome, is to bring the focus to the process of anchoring to the present moment. Some ways to practice anchoring are:
- practicing conscious breathing (mindfulness)
- rooting in the body through mindful movement (mindfulness)
- connecting with our own internal resources with self-appreciation practices (compassion)
Quoting Thich Nhat Hanh, “Breathing is like an anchor in the middle of an emotional storm: the anchor won’t make the storm disappear, but it will hold you tightly until it passes”
Opening
“How to open yourself with trust to what changes, to conflict and to others”
Practicing full awareness, we can experiment a transforming effect of ‘reperception’ a change in perception. (From Shauna L. Shapiro et al)
As this study mentions, through mindfulness and its mechanisms of paying attention intentionally, with openness and without judgment one is “able to disidentify from the contents of one’s thoughts and view his or her moment-by-moment experience with greater clarity and objectivity. We term this process reperceiving as it involves a fundamental shift in perspective. Rather than being immersed in the drama of our personal narrative or life history, we are able to stand back.
As Goleman suggests, “the phenomena contemplated are distinct from the mind contemplating them”
Some ways to practice this Opening are:
- Awareness of transitions and different bodily states (difficulty or not) through conscious movement (mindfulness)
- Openness to all senses and mental perceptions when we are stuck in a conflict (mindfulness)
- Practice common humanity and connect with our universal needs (compassion)
Give and Receive
“How to give and receive towards yourself and others, in a positive way throughout the process”
This third step, we could also take it as a cross-cutting attitude to approaching problems and states of conflict and suffering, also when they also involve other people, which is often. In fact, mindfulness and compassion are not understood without the inter-relationship and inter-being between each other, including the relationship with ourselves. In every part of the process of approaching affliction, we explore how we give and how we receive.
Some ways to practice giving and receiving on different aspects:
- Awareness of body boundaries, how we give and receive to and from the body through conscious movement and mindfulness meditations
- Practicing conscious listening with intent to be present with each other and with oneself
- Practice compassion for others and yourself
“Experience the Good, Absorb the Good and Replicate the Good”, Rick Hanson
Truth is that today as I write this article we cannot practice mindfulness and mindful movement in a group as we did one year ago, as we can see in some picture of this article of pre-Covid times. However, we can be together, we can still feel connected in the same way, sharing via on-line LIVE or in person with Covid measures when we are allowed. Putting courage and our heart to make it possible.
If you are curious about how to apply and practice this approach (Anchoring-Opening-Giving & Receiving) to a problem that affects you, from the perspective of mindfulness, you can contact me and I will share it with you as we have done in the October 2020 workshops.
You can carry it out starting for 3 weeks, 1 hour and a half of time a week for each step (readings + videos + audios) and a small commitment to daily practice by choosing one of the options that are proposed each week.
More information here. You can to book a time for a conversation and start when you want.